It'S Not So Easy To Refuse Colleagues And Hurt Feelings.

Most people who fear rejection are worried about damaging their colleagues.

Or think that the other person asks for his help. He can think highly of himself. If he doesn't promise, he may appear inadequate.

How should we refuse each other and not hurt our feelings?

Tsukagoshi Tomoko, a career psychology expert, thinks that the next step is to make clear what part of the request he wants to reject, and to prepare it in advance, it can clearly convey that "I can not help you with this part, but if it becomes...

I can help you.

Finally, it is conceived of the situation that may happen after the message is pmitted.

run into sb.

When asking for help, consciously accepting or refusing, there is no room for change, and it is also one of the reasons that people can not refuse.

In fact, as long as the request to refuse others as a negotiation with the other side, it is more able to break the psychological barriers, it is not so difficult to speak.

Assuming that the request of the other party is totally 100%, the total rejection is 0%, then try to propose 90%, 70% or 50% solutions to the other party.

You can make an assessment from the content, time limit and quantity. For example, 90% is acceptable if the term is extended for 3 days. 70% acceptance is "unable to serve as a project manager, but participation in the project is OK".

Speaking posture, expression and tone also give people different feelings.

When facing the other side as much as possible, the side is easy to give people a strong sense of vigilance.

Frown can also give a negative impression. Try to consciously relieve your eyebrows.

There is also a set of rules for rejection: first, thanks for the invitation, and then use the buffer phrase "embarrassed" and "regret" to continue to prepare the other person for being rejected. Next, give reasons and add a clear refusal: "because there is already a date for that date, there is no way to attend."

If the decline is a less important invitation (such as a meal), it's good to say it's not convenient today; but if you want to refuse extra work, you must say the specific reasons why you can't work overtime tonight.

Finally, don't forget to add apology and hope to keep the end of the relationship: "I'm really sorry, but if I have another chance next time, I will be very happy to participate."

Telephone communication can not see the speaker's expression and movement. Sometimes, even if you are polite, the other person will still feel your attitude is tough. So when you talk on the phone, you should add buffer sentences and try to be considerate of the feelings of the other party.

E-mail is not even the sound of cadence, easy to give people a sense of business and public, so to increase the perceptual vocabulary.